Bearing Fruit for Jesus

Occasionally - perhaps once or twice a year - a very bright ball of light will fly out of my heart and go up- presumably to Heaven. Perhaps this is fruit I've borne for Jesus? Like I'm a tree or something and when my fruit is ripe, the Lord takes it for Himself.

This happened recently - within the last few days. What is particularly odd is that some kind of hollow ball flew into my heart soon after the bright ball flew out of my heart.

For those who may not know, I occasionally see little balls of light or balls of darkness fly in and out of people. I regularly see little ghost like beings fly in and out of my belly.

Yes, I have seen balls of darkness fly out of my heart, too, so perhaps I'm jumping too quickly to a conclusion.

But when I was considering that perhaps that ball of light was some kind of fruit that I've borne for Jesus - as if all my suffering produces some kind of ball of light that is, say, joy, which the Lord takes for His own use, similar to when He was walking upon the Earth and came upon a fig tree and went to pick fruit.

When I thought of my function being similar to a tree, I was a bit upset - it seemed kind of demeaning, sort of sub-human. But then I realized that God's Son died for me, so then He must love me a whole bunch so God certainly wouldn't degrade me. What's more, what if that is what I'm to do - does not an apple tree produce fruit only to see if plucked off or fall from its limbs and enjoyed by others? Would it rather see its fruit wasted on the ground or be enjoyed by the Son of God?

Its an odd idea but Jesus is the Lord and we exist for His pleasure - not ours. We are His creation, not the other way around.