Bearing Fruit for Jesus

Occasionally - perhaps once or twice a year - a very bright ball of light will fly out of my heart and go up- presumably to Heaven. Perhaps this is fruit I've borne for Jesus? Like I'm a tree or something and when my fruit is ripe, the Lord takes it for Himself.

This happened recently - within the last few days. What is particularly odd is that some kind of hollow ball flew into my heart soon after the bright ball flew out of my heart.

For those who may not know, I occasionally see little balls of light or balls of darkness fly in and out of people. I regularly see little ghost like beings fly in and out of my belly.

Yes, I have seen balls of darkness fly out of my heart, too, so perhaps I'm jumping too quickly to a conclusion.

But when I was considering that perhaps that ball of light was some kind of fruit that I've borne for Jesus - as if all my suffering produces some kind of ball of light that is, say, joy, which the Lord takes for His own use, similar to when He was walking upon the Earth and came upon a fig tree and went to pick fruit.

When I thought of my function being similar to a tree, I was a bit upset - it seemed kind of demeaning, sort of sub-human. But then I realized that God's Son died for me, so then He must love me a whole bunch so God certainly wouldn't degrade me. What's more, what if that is what I'm to do - does not an apple tree produce fruit only to see if plucked off or fall from its limbs and enjoyed by others? Would it rather see its fruit wasted on the ground or be enjoyed by the Son of God?

Its an odd idea but Jesus is the Lord and we exist for His pleasure - not ours. We are His creation, not the other way around.

its great!

i slept quite well last night though it felt as though they've added to their equipment a professional vibrator - there was a definite mechanistic rhythm to their shaking of the bed last night, much different than in the past. At times they would beat upon the floor while the machine vibrated the bed and the difference was noticeable.

I think it was last Monday that they pretty much kept me up most if not all of the night with their banging of the floor whilst I tried to sleep. However, when I did finally get off to school, I had lots of energy and stayed up the whole day fine. In fact, I recall dancing to my first class! I was in high spirits even though I'm being persecuted like this! Praise God!

I remember praying and praying about their persecuting me when it first began and I was told that the outcome would be worth it. Plus, on one occasion when I tried to physically stop them by trying to capture them on (digital) film and prayed to the Lord for help, my answer was a distinct "No."

A few days ago there was a new voice in the crawlspace. Nicki said to her, "When can I get out of here," to which the other female responded, "Soon, I promise."

Wild.

Anyway, they're still at it while I write this. One of their methods is to say things in an almost inaudible manner - like whispering where I can tell someone is saying something but I can't figure out what it is. Then the whispering will stop and the guy will say in an sort of commanding way, "Up" or "Stop".

I mean this is simply amazing.

I hope to God that someone out there who might be going through a similar situation finds this blog. Just put your trust in the Lord and persevere through it! I mean I really am reaping one big, big reward in ways that are too difficult to describe but its like my brain and my body have improved a great deal! Its bizarre. I have new talents and stuff.

Just hang in there.

My Coordination Has Increased Greatly

One thing of note is that my coordination has increased greatly during these trials; I often feel something fly into the base of my spine while my stalkers harass me. I was worried about it at first, thinking it was demonic, but I'm really surprised how much my coordination has increased - such as catching something that was just dropped. I'm also able to spin around and keep my balance very well and I enjoy walking on curbs and turning on them - my balance is fantastic.

Anyway, I'm moving away from my current apartment soon so hopefully the stalkers in my crawlspace will kill themselves up there. I guess that sounds weird but think about it - they've spent TWO YEARS crawling around in that little area. I mean, that's nuts!!! What are they going to do when I go? Their harassment of me has pretty much become their lives.

Its good for them to die, too, since otherwise they may go after one of my younger brothers or sisters in Christ. Their satanic buddies should see this and be afraid.

They need to accept Christ Jesus or die - period.

Attack of the World

They're still at it though the leaser of the apartment my stalkers use to get in between the floors of my own apartment has ordered them out - to which the two main stalkers protest.

The guy of the pair up there whistles in a kind of a nondescript way. Then, when I'm in class, someone will whistle in a similar manner (though its not him). Likewise, when walking on campus I'll pass by someone that begins whistling in a similar manner when they see me.

The stalking group tells weird lies about me.

Its like I've prepared for this for years and years. I wonder what will become of it...

they're still at it

I went home for about a week between breaks in the semester. After I returned, it took about 24 hours for them to show up.

Its pretty obvious they've lost their little war. I think they're just continuing to do it to save face with their friends. So, I imagine they'll stay in the crawlspace until either I move out or the people whose apartment they use to enter into my crawlspace move out.

I've benefited a great deal from this experience. My advice to anyone else who finds them in some kind of weird situation like this: keep yourself focused and continue toward the goal. Remember, in Christ Jesus, we ALWAYS have enough energy/faith/perseverance - whatever - to make it through. And the more you rely upon Him and less upon yourself, the greater you'll become ("when I'm weak then I'm strong!" [paraphrase - Paul - Acts?]).

Spoke to the Police

I went to McBride's and purchased a bayonet to shove through the ceiling on the first floor in the hopes that that will frighten them away. When I was walking to my car through the parking lot upon leaving the store, a police officer drove up and I told him what was going on. I stated "If ya'll aren't going to do anything about it, I will." I gave them a week to do something.

"bathroom"

I'm currently riding my exercise bike on the first floor and above me I hear this over and over...



guy (whisper): bathroom

Nicki (concerned/whine): why doesn't [she] serve?

guy (whisper): [she] will

...

Nicki: eat

its silly

They tried to wake me this morning at 8am by shaking my bed when I heard Nicki call it off to the guy, "My hand hurts," and then she told the guy the whole thing was stupid and going no where. So they stopped shaking the bed but started saying things like, "You need to go to the bathroom," etc.

I'm not too sure when they discovered going between the floors of this apartment complex but Nicki moved into the apartment above my previous apartment in May 2006 and I'm fairly sure they were "between floors" from Jan-Mar 2007, at which point Nicki officially moved out of the apartment. Then they showed up from Apr 1. 2007-Sept 2007 "between floors" (but I assumed they were in the apartment above me but didn't understand how their voices sounded so close or how they could hear me so well to be in the physical, upstairs apartment). It may have been Oct. 1 2007 that I moved into this specific unit and they showed up "between floors" about two weeks later. It was around March of this year that I discovered they were literally between the floors which explains a lot.

Summer School

The girl from the adjacent apartment showed up in the crawlspace within an hour or so after I arrived back for Summer School and the two others, the girl (Nicki) and guy showed up within 12 hours. The whole thing is sort of like a joke now - they just do it because they'll look like fools to their Wicca friends if they give up, hence they must stay there until there is some kind of resolve, such as their being arrested, them killing themselves, them killing me, my moving, etc. Its actually quite funny since they're more or less forced to spend their lives in a dark, 1' high space - and they've been doing this for about a year and a half now. I think they want me to move so they can give up but I like my apartment and am planning on staying.

I also sometimes stick knitting needles up through small holes that are in the ceiling. That really freaked Nicki out the first day that I did it. I hope I really get them, though, but I mustn't make too many little holes. Anyway, if I do manage to get one, my plan is to embed it into their flesh and make them call the police to get them out of there - hence my story of being stalked shall be verified, they shall be arrested, etc. haha.

Had a Great Semester

I made the honor roll this last semester which makes it two in a row - 3 A's and a B, and the B was in a super-tough (to me!) class, Algorithms.

Another Blogger Mentions Being Stalked by Cults

Another reports being stalked by cults.

Coffee

Nicki keeps saying, "Coffee."

Becoming More Aggressive

The harassment has become more aggressive lately. I heard Nicki say something about her about to run out of money so perhaps it has something to do with that. I'm also nearing graduation (I need to finish up two exams for this semester and complete one more course this summer) so that may be it as well.

"I Bought You"

Nicki says that a lot, "I bought you."

Reading About Gang Stalking

Many if not most of the TIs or targeted individuals fail to recognize the satanic element behind the perpetrators' actions. If one just simply factors this into the equation, things make much more sense. The attack is not only physical but spiritual as well - which raises the complexity level quite a bit since spiritual beings affect us in ways we're either not used to or, for a little while, unaware of. I mean, a lot of the TI stuff is nothing more than paranoia. Sorry. I've been down that road before and while yes, those people are being attacked, they're being attacked in a spiritual way.

Based on the way the perps in my crawlspace act and from what I've overheard from them, the harassment methods they're using are known among their peers and have been tried upon others, and from the confidence they've expressed in their methods, it would seem as with some success. One thing that really strikes me as unusual as the level of pride they have - they are utterly enslaved to pride.

demonic element

It is important to recognize that there is a demonic element to the stalkers' behavior. Without realizing this, it would be easy to imagine a gigantic, ultra-sophisticated hidden network of spies and saboteurs spreading gossip, etc. On the other hand, the demonic realm is this - a large, sophisticated network of unseen entities - do go in and out of people regularly and exert from a small amount of persuasion to complete control over individuals the world over. Hence, to those unfamiliar with the spiritual realm and the influence it plays upon human events, it would appear that the perps have electronic equipment of harassment, a gigantic network, etc.

Regardless, the ones in my crawlspace are definitely involved in the occult and based upon their statements, reactions, etc. it seems safe to assume they are Wiccans - Nicki is a witch and likes to cast spells, utter curses etc. The male up there does this too. Its actually quite creepy.

But what is kind of funny is the fact that they're rather stupid - they're like these dumb people who have nothing better to do.

Anyway, I overheard Nicki say something about running out of money so perhaps this current chapter of my persecution is coming to an ending.

So, yes, this is gang stalking and while there is a lot of information on the net about it, it doesn't seem like its all that horrible - I mean, its bearable. What's more, I believe I've grown greatly as an individual as a result of it as well, so I'm glad I'm experiencing it though I kind of wonder what it's like to not experience it since its been happening for so long now. I imagine my ability to concentrate in adverse settings has grown exponentially!

"Making Us Look Like Fools"

I keep overhearing them say that (not today or just now, but repeatedly over the last few months at various places).

Camera

When I was looking at digital cameras while at at Sears, there were two young, white males that seemed very interested in what I was doing and seemed bothered by it. Regardless of that, the people in the crawlspace have expressed concern that I might take a picture of them. I wonder if they mean them specifically - that is, the three people in the crawlspace while they are up there - or if they mean they as in the group of people they are with that stalk me. Having and using a camera and/or camcorder seems to be a defense tactic successfully used by others.

The perps have also expressed quite a concern that I'm making them look like fools - not just the people in the crawlspace, but some of the people on campus as well.

The perps seem to mostly be young white people. The males tend to dress in a scruffy manner (t-shirts, jeans, goatees, etc), the girls involved aren't quite as aggressive but the ones involved seem to dress mainstream.

Overcoming Judgment

They're still at it but I have grown quite a bit.

There must be some kind of judgment involved in order to become angry - I need to judge "that's bad" or "that's a waste of time" etc. in order to become angry (I guess). So, if we overcome the judgment itself, or just simply stop judging, then we won't be so angry.

And Jesus said, For judgment I am come into this world, that they which see not might see, and that they which see might be made blind. (John 9:39 KJV)

So then, in time, we, believers in Christ Jesus, become blind to judgment and as a result the persecutors' acts will produce less and less judgment towards them from me, and as a result I'll become more and more unfazed by their behavior.

Its been happening for a good while now - they'd don't phase me too much - certainly not as much as they did and I believe this has a great deal with my becoming more and more blind to judgment.

I spoke to a police officer last Thursday and reported what they were doing. He said a detective might contact me but I'd be surprised if it goes that far. Its nice to have the persecution on record, however, so that if, say, they kill me at least they'll have a record of something odd happening leading up to the murder.

In gangstalking, there is a something referred to as "sensitizing" which is something the stalkers do to the victim to make him or her reactionary towards a societal act that is normally benign, such as a whistle, phrase, etc. For instance, the gangstalkers may repeatedly whistle in a certain way or say a certain phrase when near the victim, which, after awhile, may upset the victim or at a minimum alert him or her to their presence as if to say "you're being watched". Anyway, the male perpetrator up in the crawlspace has taken to whistling and speaking in a whistle-like-manner.

I certainly don't feel all that victimized. For instance, the perpetrators have on more than one occasion been in the same room with me and others in a class when taking a major exam for that specific
class. Since it is such a large class (over 70 or so earthly-students), they can get away with it. Anyway, the male perp or one of his friends was in the same hall during the CS 345 exam April
17, 2008, and he did his whistling/whispering thing. Regardless, I made the highest score in the entire class so this whole experience seems like its one that is hardening me towards
harassment as well as allowing me to examine the methods the perpetrators use to harass Christians and report their methods to others which I'm more than happy to do.

its just gangstalking

apparently, the people in the crawlspace are with a group of satanists/wiccans that are into gangstalking - they have many friends around town and on campus. since they're so close to me they state phrases or make sounds that they are trying to sensitize me to.

they seem like juvenile gangstalkers - amateurs, really, and its funny because their activites are becoming more and more exposed around town and on campus since, as the dude in the crawlspace said, i'm stronger than i look.

their first phrase they tried to sensitze me with was "smoke", pronounced sort of like "smoooke" - from what happened, it sounds like they told people on campus that they merely need state the word "smoke" in the certain manner and then I'd smoke a cigarette. but, it didn't work out that way since they became sensitized to me and my then habit of taking regular smoke breaks.

they also tried to keep me up at night and would repeat the word "sleep" - which they still do. I recall at the Spring 2007 final exam someone stating "sleep" in like manner right as the exam began.

the dude up there states often "give me my children".

what they're doing has become an ordeal to them - they're in a nasty crawlspace and have been there a long time - they're getting nowhere with me.

they claim I'm supposed to "serve them" - Nicki will often say "serve me" and complain "why don't you serve me" if I don't, say, go to the restroom when she says "restroom".

I guess from an outsider's point of view this must sound either horrifying, strange, fantastic, etc. but its weird - I just kind of persevere through it trusting in Christ Jesus and as a result I've grown spiritually, emotionally and mentally. If you're some Christian out there who came upon this post via google some years from now, remember that the Lord is always greater than anything Satan can confront you with and its just a matter of hanging in there and trusting in the Lord. The Lord is faithful and He will see you through it. ;-)

still at it

things are much different now that i know where they are. i've tried to take photographs but was not able to get a clear shot into where they are - the dude up there said "missed" after I took a photo by sticking the camera up into the area behind and above the air-conditioning/furnace

i'm suprised they've been doing it this long - they're right above me now - I'm in the dining area just south of the kitchen and they keep saying things like, "bathroom" or "sleep" etc. and sometimes Nicki will complain that I don't serve her.... weird.

apparently Nicki is a witch and involved in satanism as is the guy she's with. so far they've infilitrated at least two of my classes while taking exams. they're losers.

 
From what I can tell, this is the outside of the previous shot; the tunnel would be directly above the top line of cupboards.

 

This appears to be the area right above the cupboards in the kitchen; from what I can tell, the stalkers are actually above this.

in crawlspace

it turns out that the people that are harassing me are in the crawlspace between levels of my apartment (its a one-bedroom apartment composed of two stories; on the first floor is a living room, adjoining dining room and kitchen and on the top floor is a bathroom, sink/mirror area directly at the top of the stairs, and a bedroom).

so that's how they've been doing it all this time. lately they've begun hitting the area underneath my bed so that my bed shakes when i try to sleep.

this is in the Hyde Park area of Austin Texas.

On Mixings / Hot Cocoa and Cashews

The combination has to be right; it seems better if the two items do not have similar flavors else one will overpower the other. For instance, the Kit Kat and Vanilla Ice Cream; the ice cream was so sweet that it took over the entire taste so that the Kit Kat did not heighten the taste enjoyment - the ice cream had a different consistency in that it became a bit crunchy but that's about it.

Hot Cocoa and Cashews

Here's what I use:

• Nestle Carb Select Hot Cocoa Mix
• 28 g Cashews

The taste of chocolate in this cocoa mix is rather subdued - its good but not overbearing. The cashews go very well with it.

One thing I'd like to mention is how chocolate cookies don't go well with this cocoa mix for the above-mentioned reason - the chocolate in the cookies is way too strong for the cocoa mix and washes it out; one might as well eat the cookies alone or with milk.

Brownies with Marshmallow Topping

I did this a long time ago but wanted to document it since it was
so horrible. Here's what I did:

1. Prepared a batch of brownies from mix as usual
2. When the brownies had cooled a bit, I smothered t the brownies with a layer of mini marshmallows
3. Placed smothered brownies under broiler until the marshmallows showed browned areas.

The marshmallows totally washed out the taste of the brownies - I could have just as well stuffed my mouth with marshmallows and it'd probably been better.

Krusteaz Chocolate Chip Waffles and Ice Cream

This one is a real winner. Ingredients:

• Krusteaz (Complete) Chocolate Chip Pancake Mix
• Blue Bell Ice Cream

Anyway, I mixed up the pancake mix as waffles (I halved the recipe on the back of the box), threw a batch into the waffle maker, and when it came out, placed a serving of Blue Bell Ice Cream on it (any flavor will work I imagine but I used Dutch Chocolate and Homemade Vanilla [separately]).

Surely this is delicious!! What is so neat is wrapping the ice cream with the waffle - its like a soft waffle cone. Really, really great.

Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla and Hershey Kit Kat

I didn't think that this was a very good combination because it seems like the Kit Kat's taste was washed out by the vanilla ice cream. Certainly the consistency of the ice cream changed - it became crunchy - but its like the combination just plain sounds fantastic but the actual combination just sort of fell flat on its face. Perhaps I should have used more Kit Kat? Here's what I used:

• 2 Scoops Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream
• 2 Kit Kat Individual bars (half of a standard package)

Here's what I did:

• Using a cutting board, I cut the Kit Kat bars into little pieces using a butter knife (a particularly sharp knife was not needed)
• Mixed up the scoops of ice cream with the pieces of Kit Kat ala Marble Slab Creamery
  
• Placed above combination in a flat-bottomed wafer cone.

The whole thing didn't strike me as being particularly better than the vanilla ice cream or Kit Kat each alone so I guess that's the indicator that it didn't work out.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Coffee

Well, those people are still at it but I want to talk about something else. Anyhoo, I enjoy mixing edible things together and sometimes the combination is just right... other times its just bleh. So here's a report on such a combination.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups and Coffee

Delicious! Wow! What a taste!! Here's what I did:

• 10 oz Coffee with
  • 1 tbs Coffee Mate Sugar Free Hazelnut Non-Dairy Creamer
  • 1 tbs Equal Spooonful! Artificial Sweetner
• 1 1.5 oz Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (2 individual cups - standard package)

More of the Same

Yesterday I was surprised to hear Ms. J question how I was able to study with them harassing me so often. So they know exactly what they're doing - trying to prevent me from continuing with my collegiate activities.

They often like to harass me while I sleep. I heard them for a little while last night and then, exasperated, Ms. N. stated, "Let me out of here," as if they need to enter into a confined place in order to harass me well. This makes a great deal of sense as because they sound pretty close. My guess is that they enter into air-conditioning/furnace closet thing. But it could have just been the closet but there are three people - THREE PEOPLE - working together at harassing me.

Mr. M

I think Ms. N pays Mr. M money to harass me which helps explain why he pressures Ms. N into keeping up the pressure on me. Many times in the past I've heard Ms. N talk about stopping the harassment but Mr. M will act like things will look up very soon. Of course, he was saying this a year ago and its just dragged on and on.

But no normal person would keep doing what Mr. M has been doing unless there is some kind monetary reward. I mean, for a while it seemed like their motivation was pride, but Mr. M is so silly sometimes that pride is obviously not a factor.

As an example, they can hear when I turn the water on and off, and like I said before, they try and anticipate what it is that shall do or in other ways give some kind of command to which I must necessarily “obey” in the sense that its just my normal behavior (“go to the restroom”, “turn on the water”, “turn it on”, etc) – indeed, Ms. N has even commanded me to breathe. So, in the kitchen, Mr. M will say things about turning on and off the water. One time I used the sink and Mr. M repeated over and over, “turn the water on” for maybe 3 or 4 minutes. I mean, he'll keep doing it over and over and for a normal person to do this is ridiculous (Ms. N told him that I was making him look like a fool) but if one understands he's being paid to try and cause me to stumble then it makes sense – he has to convince Ms. N that he's actually accomplishing something for which she pays him.

Further, since Mr. M is an occultist, he simply tricks Ms. N into believing he's actually doing something. For instance, he may notice that immediately after I make a certain sound (such as putting a dish on the drying rack) I turn the water on (such as to wash my hands of any soap residue). He can use this tidbit of information to convince Ms. N that he's somehow influencing me and progressing toward their goal of controlling me with their commands.

Its Costing Ms. N Money

I just stepped into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of coffee and while I was in there, Mr. M. commanded "Go to your room," for whom Ms. N replied, "I will." I prepared my coffee and while I was preparing to leave, Mr. M said, "Go to the restroom".

I went back to my stationary bicycle and starting writing on this particular blog.

Anyway, I normally do go up to my room after breakfast so what they're commanding is normal behavior. For instance, next I'm planning on going back to my room, making my bed, washing my face, etc. then eventually returning to my living room to work on my homework (I attend the University of Texas at Austin). But they'll follow me up there.

The living arrangement is this: I reside in a one-bedroom apartment that has two stories. On the first floor is the living room and kitchen. On the second floor is the bedroom and bathroom. Their apartment is adjacent to mine from the rear – it is not to the left or right but actually behind my apartment so that the kitchen and living room are backed up against their kitchen and living room on the first floor, and the bathroom and bedroom closet are backed up against their bathroom and bedroom closet. Perhaps I'll make a diagram sometime.

One interesting tidbit of information I gleaned last night was Ms. N's lamenting of the fact that whatever she was doing cost her a lot of money. It sounds to me as though she is paying Mr. M to harass me. Since she is staying with Ms. J (who normally resides with a youngster and middle-aged man), she may be paying Ms. J to live at her apartment and help her and Mr. M harass me (as she does).

Ms. N must have a limited supply of funds as she stated, “Do you realize how much this is costing me?” She has been asking Mr. M how much longer it was going to take.

Ms. N is quite concerned that she looks like a fool. More on this later.

at night

My stalkers are occultists and they're on some kind of control-trip as well as ego-trips. They consist of 3 principal persons, two female, one male. One of the females is named Nicki - I don't know her last name or if that is how she spells her name but I imagine her full name is Nicole. For the sake of this blog, I shall refer to the stalkers by handles, Ms. N (for Nicki), Ms. J (for the other, anonymous female stalker) and Mr. M.

I didn't consider their harassment really stalking until I moved into a different apartment September 2007. Before that it was just "stalkerish". Like I said, they have some kind of control trip which involves following me about the apartment and barking out orders, generally trivial ones.

I created this blog to keep track of their harassment as well as share what they do with others. Perhaps others will benefit.

As time has progressed, their harassment has lost more and more of an affect. It has certainly been disconcerting in the past (sometimes making me angry) but it is so common now I'm beginning to not take much of a notice at all.

A good example is last night. They often times will try and wake me up while I sleep and give a command such as "use the restroom". Sometimes when they wake me up I do need to use the restroom so I will. When I get there one of them will often say, "Who are you serving?" Anyway, I vaguely recall waking up briefly two times last night due to their harassment, one time around 3 am and another at 5 am. At 3 I heard Ms. J but at 5 I recall hearing Ms. N. She was saying something and Mr. M said something akin to, "roll over in your bed" - I was in the process of doing that anyway (as is often the case) and they probably could hear my mattress creak. I think Ms. N said, "Go to the restroom," but I didn't need to go and then I heard her begin whining, "Why doesn't he serve me?" (they normally refer to me with masculine pronouns) - I could hear her complaining about this to the others. I was very groggy at the time and easily slept back into sleep until my alarm went off at 8 am. Soon after my alarm went off, I heard Mr. M say, "Get up."

This sort of behavior from them has been going on for a long time. They try and anticipate my actions and bark out commands of what they believe those actions shall be, many times actions whose results will be audible to them in the adjacent apartment. Oftentimes they're wrong, but sometimes they're right and when they are they ask, "Who are you serving?"